bringingupbuddhas

suburban adventures in bu-curious mothering

Tag: presence

cold is the new hot

cold-weather-ahead_road-sign_9051379When I’m cold, my body stiffens from tip to toe. My lower back muscles squeeze spontaneously and repetitively. My jaw tightens, teeth clench. When I’m cold, there’s an inexplicable sense of urgency, a need to get places quick, a compulsion to perform tasks in a staccato. These behaviors are usually accompanied by a longing to retreat under fuzzy blankets and shut my eyes, a deep yearning for tropical escape.

I’m cold today. I was cold yesterday, too. I haven’t been bone cold like this in months, and I’m taking a bit of mindful time today to acknowledge the ways autumn’s dropping temperatures inspire my physiology. My mind is racing, my nose is running, my lips are stumbling through words, not because I’m stressed or sick or impeded, but because I’m cold. (96.6 degrees to be exact, I took my temperature.) And I am compassionately observing it all.

I was in a meeting this morning, wearing a dress sans tights or hose. I sat with my bare legs wound into eagle pose – like two bent strands of licorice. My shoulders hunched and reached toward my ears simultaneously. My smile stretched a little too tight. Because I was cold.

The earth moves and we all must move with her. For us New Englanders, that means surrendering to the cold and the changes that it brings – inside and out.

There may come a point later in the season that my skin has thickened and my body stops shuddering; but more than likely, the cold will announce its presence to me in a way that requires me to surrender to it and just be…. cold.

From mine to yours,

Vanessa

goodbye back pain

I’ve had constant lower back pain for several years. I’ve tried yoga and chiropractic and massages, but nothing really made it go away. I mean, all those things made me feel great, but the back pain still lingered.

Okay, switching gears for a minute – hold tight, this will come around.

I am typically messy and disorganized and forgetful and overcommitted. It’s a problem for me and it’s a problem for those around me. So I’ve made deliberate efforts to simplify all parts of my life and have been super disciplined and organized for about two months. I always strive to walk my talk, but these months I’ve been absolutely intentional about it. Will power and discipline are my #1 and #2 challenges in life so this effort has taken *extreme* concentration and commitment!

I’ve noticed, as I’ve become more disciplined, my back pain has dissipated, to the point that my lower back feels loose, flexible, and healthy. The pain is gone. And there’s no reason for it to be gone. But it’s gone nonetheless.

Physical pain is a manifestation of spirit’s last ditch effort to communicate with us. “There is something really wrong here! Please pay attention! I’m talking to you!!!” I’m totally convinced that God has rewarded my organizational efforts by alleviating my back pain. I can find no other explanation and I do not believe in coincidences.

So whether or not you buy into my healing hypothesis, consider this: What could your body be telling you? Do stress and challenges manifest for you physically? Have you ever equated your physical pain with emotional pain?

Here’s a fun exercise – write down something going on with your body that’s troubling you. (Headaches, allergies, back pain, tummy troubles, etc.) Now write down your biggest challenge or source of stress. (Be careful not to name another person as your source of stress – this has to be all about you!) Spend 3 weeks working deliberately and intentionally to ease that emotional challenge and see what happens to your physical pain.

Share your thoughts!

http://www.vanessagobes.com

no more worries

This an AWESOME exercise in mindfulness for kids – or anyone! 

Invite your child to write down her biggest worry. Teach her that worry is not real, it’s just a habit, and it can be broken. Give your child a special bracelet and instruct her to wear it daily (a rubber bracelet or bright hair elastic will do). Each time she notices herself worrying, she should switch the bracelet to the other wrist. Tell her not to condemn herself when she switches. There’s no need to tally the worries. Just notice they’re happening. 

Once she gets the hang of it, help her come up with an easy affirmation that can neutralize the worry. Each time she switches the bracelet, she can say the affirmation in her head.

So let’s say your child worries she’s going to fail math. Every time she stresses, she should switch the bracelet and think, “Learning comes easily for me.” 

This can also be used to break other habits, for example gossiping. Each time the child (or parent!) notices herself engaging in caddy conversation, switch that bracelet and think, “I am kind to others.”

Check out my little friend in the photo, using this simple bracelet trick to kick her worries to the curb. We should all be so adorable while we practice mindfulness!

Learn more about mindful parenting and meditation for families atwww.vanessagobes.com.

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